I’m wishing you a most wonderful 2012. Did you have fun New Year’s Eve?
This year, I only made one resolution, but it’s so granola I’m not sure I’m gonna tell you…
Wait, whaddya mean granola?
Granola, you know, granola means the people who eat all organic, do yoga, who talk about energy and crystals and who make their own homemade granola. And now who goes to the organic market? Who wears Lululemon to the gym (okay, I think Lulu is granola but I’m not sure. It just comes down to how the clothes are made. Like Toms do their whole donation thing, that’s totally granola.) THEY’RE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT EVERYTHING (I’m not a fan of Toms).
Just hold the phone a second though. My resolution is totally granola. And so not at all rock ‘n roll.
Wait, you can’t be granola and rock at the same time?
Not really, actually. Even if some people will have you believe the opposite. Like one of the most important tenements of rock ‘n roll is to burn your candle on both ends, and so that often means sleeping in your own vomit – naaaah. Not exaggerating. I’ll remind you that even I had a punk rock group in the days before Facebook and photo tagging (thank god). So I’ve pretty much got a degree in rock ‘n roll.
(That isn’t to say that I’m rock myself… Even if I’d love to be. But I’ve studied hard)(Instead of getting my masters)
So like… Kate Moss. She’s not at all granola. But at the same time, now that I think about it, hold on…
So if a granola had a child with a rock ‘n roll, what would you get?
I know :
YOU’D GET A HIPSTER!!!!
Yes yes! A hipster! I’m not going to spell out a hipster for you, you know all too well what one is. Like the Jennifer Aniston’s boyfriend wait, what’s his name? Justin Theroux. Total hipster.
And believe me, Justin Theroux (hipster) wouldn’t miss a beat if I told you all my new year’s resolutions. But Kate Moss (rock ‘n roll) would punch me in the jaw. And Gwyneth Paltrow (granola) would give me the biggest hug.
So : My new year’s resolution is to get up one hour earlier to do some yoga… Or meditate.
Yeah, I know, it’s the ultimate definition of a coconut resolution – but that’s okay, I’m gonna try. But seeing as I put myself out there, you think you could tell me yours? Even the more secretive ones… Even the most coconut ones? Okay, GO!
And so to all you hipsters out there, you rock ‘n rolls and all you granolas and to everyone in between : HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
PS : You’ve just attended the NYP (New Year’s Post) for the year. They get more and more random every year. I’ve decided it’s a tradition.
I mean, come oooon, 2011 (I know it’s pretty much the same thing as last year but this time it’s an animated GIF!!! Because we never stop moving forward here in Doré land) wasn’t the best, 2010 was even worst, 2009, 2008 (NO NO NO WE WON’T GO ALL THE WAY BACK to before 2007: I only leave those archives up for respect to just how pointless I was but can we just pretend they don’t exist, PLEASE!) Lol. Big hugs!!!!!
Translation : Tim Sullivan