Alright, guys, this is it: the last of my wedding posts—from here on out it’s going to be non-wedding related beauty stuffs, so I guess right now would be the perfect time for me to get two things off my chest about me and my wedding (and me in general)… 1. I just want to look and feel like myself on my wedding day (is that so wrong?), and 2. I’m a bit of a control freak (my fiancé likes to say I’m “particular”). I like my towels folded a certain way, I take pride in curating the sock drawer, and watching someone else do the dishes just about gives me a panic attack (you have to wash both sides of the plate!). All this means that planning a wedding is my ultimate nightmare (second only to that morning commute on the subway).
A wedding is a runaway avalanche of a thousand and one moving parts that you find yourself running towards, laptop in hand, headfirst and against all better judgment. Even the smallest decision feels like it has really big consequences because it feels like so much of the day is a parade of aesthetics (Which plates to rent? What flowers to get? What songs to play?) The fact that the whole thing is photographed only ups the stakes.
Everyone keeps telling me to just “let go” and “relaaaax” and that “there’s only so much you can do,” which, while I understand it, is like telling someone whose car is about to crash into a brick wall to get all “c’est la vie” about their impending disaster—not that I equate my wedding with disaster (yet).
I was so caught up with trying to find the perfect dress and places for everyone to stay and fielding phone calls from my mom that I never even gave how I wanted to wear my hair a thought. The farthest I got was my foolproof plan to call in a favor to the universe and ask if it could please pull some strings and grant me the best hair day of my life. Other than that I was thinking of just pulling my hair back into a low something or other and sticking a flower in it. Boom.
So when my hairdresser and dear friend asked me “What are we going to do with your hair for your wedding?” I panicked. I had just assumed I’d be doing my hair. I wanted to do my own hair. I didn’t want to have another decision to make, another Pinterest board to create, another headache to have. Ditto that for makeup. Like a good control freak I know exactly how I like it. Not to mention that every time someone else has done my hair I’ve hated it and not felt like myself at all. No hairdresser can resist the temptation of heat styling, which means that anytime I’ve had my hair done it’s felt like some version of prom/beauty pageant hair—big and voluminous and teased and backcombed into an unrecognizable coif that wouldn’t budge if a tornado hit it (if you’re keeping count we’re at two natural disaster mentions so far).
As for makeup, the only thing I plan on doing differently is trading in my Diorshow Blackout mascara for its waterproof version (I’m a crier. I tear up just thinking about tearing up). Other than that, I’ll be sticking to my usual beauty regimen: some sort of over-hyped, under-achieving eye cream, NARS radiant creamy concealer (the stuff miracles are made of), aforementioned mascara, MAC blotting powder, and a MAC matte bronze powder (no sparkles, thank you very much). I’ll probably add some blush and some sort of sheer lip color and call it a day.
I’ve talked to a handful of friends of mine who’ve tied the knot and done their own hair and makeup, and they’ve been perfectly happy with the results. The reality is that, on that day, I’m going to be surrounded by people that love me and know me, and I just don’t feel the need to turn the whole thing into a beauty pageant. The idea of having someone else spend hours on my hair and makeup while I sit there and stress about what products they’re using, and wondering why the hell they’re teasing my hair on a day that’s already stressful, only to have me look in the mirror and hate it and then panic, and have to redo the whole thing in a hurry (which happened to a friend) seems like a waste of money and time. I’d rather put those dollars towards something I really care about. Like
Did you change your look for your wedding? Were you happy you did or did you regret it?