A love letter to

Laser Hair Removal

4 years ago by

Laser Hair Removal

Chère épilation laser,

Je voulais prendre le temps de te remercier sincèrement. J’aimerais aussi que quelqu’un puisse te remercier lors de mon oraison funèbre… oui, je suis à ce point dans le self-control et le narcissisme que j’ai prévu mon propre enterrement. Ne t’inquiète pas. Je sais que ce n’est pas normal. Peut-être que tu figureras même sur mon épitaphe !

« Ci-gît Veronica McCarthy. C’est grâce à l’épilation laser qu’elle a enfin pu présenter une épilation maillot acceptable à l’âge de 30 ans, dépassant enfin sa plus grosse frayeur dans la vie : une journée à la plage improvisée. »

Vois-tu, avant qu’on ne commence à se fréquenter, pour moi, une journée improvisée à la plage, c’était aussi sympa et léger qu’un examen de fin d’études. S’il prenait à mes amis l’envie de m’inviter à une petite journée de farniente improvisée à la plage, c’était soit que…

A) ce n’était pas vraiment des amis, parce que mes amis savent qu’il me faut AU MOINS trois jours pour me préparer à montrer 90 % de la surface de ma peau en public sans qu’on me prenne pour un Bigfoot.

OU BIEN

B) Ils ne peuvent pas être mes amis parce qu’on a des peurs – et donc des questions existentielles – qui n’ont rien à voir.

Oui, je suis sûre que ces femmes-licornes zéro défaut à la peau lisse ont leurs petits soucis existentiels – et croyez-moi, je les respecte -, mais elles ne comprendront jamais mon combat contre ces poils épais, noirs et détestables qui vivent sur toute la surface de mon corps, cette peur de devoir me baigner en short en jean plutôt que d’exposer à la vue de tous les horreurs qui se cachent dessous.

Certes, il m’a fallu du temps pour accepter l’idée de se voir régulièrement, mais l’anticipation et l’organisation, ce n’est pas mon fort (sauf pour mon enterrement), et réserver des rendez-vous l’hiver en vue de préparer ma « peau estivale » me paraissait aussi séduisant que d’avaler une salade en plein mois de février.

Dieu merci, j’ai mûri et j’ai compris ton potentiel. Je sais qu’il nous reste encore un peu de travail, mais mon rasoir est d’ores et déjà ravi de passer sur une peau aussi douce. Mes aisselles n’ont jamais été aussi sexy !!

A l’âge de trente ans, grâce à toi, j’ai enfin le courage d’accepter une journée à la plage improvisée avec l’enthousiasme de Derek Zoolander lorsqu’il sirote un mocha frappechino orange.

De toute mon imberbi-tude et du fond du cœur, bien à toi

Veronica

10 comments

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  • Erin Farrugia 18 janvier 2018, 6:56 / Répondre

    Laser has been the best thing I have ever done for myself!!
    And I repeat…for myself!!
    Getting laser was for me and me alone, sure my partner appreciates it but, it’s seriously just one less thing I have to think about day-to-day.
    Getting my legs done (as well as bikini, underarm & upper lip) has been the biggest payoff! I always had issues shaving my legs e.g itchy bumps, missing patches, skin sensitivity etc etc but now I have hair-free and silky smooth legs all year round!!! And yep impromptu trips to the beach or pool are a piece of cake. No fuss No muss!!

  • Not knocking Veronica or anyone else who has had laser hair removal – I know I’ve thought about it many many times while shaving my own hair and cursing the patriarchy, and also enjoyed the silky feel of sheets against smooth legs, but are we ever going to get to a point when women don’t feel this obligation to be hairless and unnaturally childlike? It’s so unfair that men don’t have to shave their pits and legs, but if a woman doesn’t do it, she is shamed by men and other women as a gross and unhygienic Sasquatch, not to mention how razors for women are more expensive than razors for men.

  • Veronica 19 janvier 2018, 9:50

    oh man! I feel you so much and the internal dilemma. I definitely loathed the amount of money I put towards something that men don’t think twice about on their own bodies. but I couldn’t even shave my legs w/o getting a five o’clock shadow (hello Greek and Croatian blood!) so I decided to do it so I could at least shave when I wanted to and have it last more than a day. oh and my happy trail. I just really didn’t want a happy trail anymore on my body. lol but I LOVE diving into these types of convos so thank you for bringing it up! (and I exclusively buy men’s razors and it’s insane that they are cheaper)

  • I’m going to get laser hair removal after I’m done having kids. Body hair often returns with the hormonal surges of pregnancy.

  • I absolutely loved this letter, as it felt like my own words. I started with my armpits which miraculously worked after a few sessions. It cost plenty money but looking back now best decision I’ve made. My skin there is clearer and the bumps I used to have all gone! No more use of tend skin!! I finally caved and started my bikini (which is removal of everything on top as well). 3 sessions in and my skin is so smooth, hair growth is minimal and being a beach bum means I don’t have to give a s*** about having to shave to go to the beach! THank god for laser hair removal. I’ve recommended to my friends and they too have started. I did it for me! Glad I did although I wish I had done it years ago. Xxx

  • Yes! I don’t like my happy trail either, and I hate that it makes me uncomfortable because I wish I could embrace everything about my body. I feel like I’ve been brainwashed by society to find it unacceptable. When I see other women with body hair, I can’t help that my first gut reaction is « ick. » Then my brain is like « no, you go girl, you do you! » and I feel guilty about my initial reaction. It’s not just body hair either, facial hair too – love that natural eyebrows are « in » and hope it’s not just a fad, but women have facial hair in other places too and while a lot of men also shave, the repercussions of not removing facial hair for women are much worse.

  • I agree that women should not feel they must rid themselves of body hair to be civilized and beautiful. Luckily, a few of us do not, myself included. I must admit that I have very fine, fairly sparse (black) hair, and I do tweeze the rogue « thick » underarm hair or wayward brow hair on occasion. There is no rhyme or reason other than that I do what I like! No one has complained yet! ;)
    It is mostly due to laziness that I remain au naturale. Anyone who cares that much about my body hair needs to reassess their world (may I suggest climate change to him or her?) And before I have mislead you to paint a picture of a heathen, I do try to put my best self forward when I get ready every morning. I just don’t think some extra hair makes a difference. Ladies, let’s not be so hard on ourselves!

  • Executive Fashion And Beauty Editor, The Huffington Post

  • I wasn’t particularly hairy but I shaved my legs & underarms, then started waxing because it lasted a lot longer.

    At a friend’s urging I had laser done a couple years ago – My legs, my underarms & my pubic hair. It set me back a wad of cash, but I love being baby-smooth all over!

    I work at a swimming pool during the summer so I pretty much live in swimsuits & bare feet during that time. Not having to wax or shave anymore is a big time-saver.

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