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(English) Rules of Relation

4 years ago by

(English) Rules of Relation

Apparemment, le fait d’être en couple jouerait un rôle bien plus important dans le succès professionnel qu’on le croit.

Selon un article publié sur le Huffington, être jeune et en couple serait positif pour sa carrière. Ce qui va à l’encontre de tout ce qui est dit sur le sujet étant donné qu’on évolue dans une société qui semble uniquement plébisciter les gens jeunes actifs, indépendants et célibataires.

Et moi ? Moi, je vis une relation stable et j’en suis aux balbutiements de ma carrière, donc ce nouveau postulat me laisse perplexe… puisqu’évidemment, je vois les deux aspects.

J’ai beaucoup appris sur moi-même pendant les trois années où je suis restée célib. Et c’est vrai que c’est génial d’être absolument libre de faire ce que l’on veut, de pouvoir courir après ses rêves sans contrainte. Les opportunités sont illimitées… mais qui dit que tout ça doit forcément s’arrêter quand on est en couple ?

Et c’est là que ma génération se trompe, je crois. La relation que je vis a eu un impact positif sur ma vie professionnelle. C’est agréable d’avoir quelqu’un avec qui remettre les choses en perspective, quelqu’un qui pose les questions qu’on n’a parfois trop peur de se poser nous-même. Cela étant, je ne dirai pas qu’un style de vie soit mieux qu’un autre !

Finalement, le plus important, c’est de faire ce qui nous tient à cœur : consacrer du temps à une personne, un boulot, un diplôme, une aventure. Il faut aller vers ce qui nous motive, ce qui nous fait vibrer. C’est la clé, qu’on soit célibataire ou pas.

8 comments

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  • The Huffington Post article was badly written. It uses the word « people » several times, when, if you click through to the research, it’s about men, not women. In fact, one link says this: The Atlantic summarizes the results like this: “A new study of history professors shows that married men get promoted faster than their single colleagues, while the opposite is true for women.” I would rephrase that a bit: Men always get promoted faster than women, but the difference is especially great among those who are married.

    In my (rather long) experience, men benefit from relationships; women don’t. I’ve heard bosses ask whether a married woman is going to put work first; the question never came up for guys. Also: if she’s married, when is she going to want time off to have kids? At the same time, the « good dads » were cut a lot of slack as far as arriving late and leaving early because of their dadly duties, but the women with kids got nothing but grief over the most minor and infrequent hiccups. It was a complete double-standard.

  • ?? this exactly.

  • I totally agree with the above comment about being a relationship is more beneficial for men than women. I’m in a long-term relationship (3+ years) and this past year my relationship has really been about getting my boyfriend’s career started. He’s trying to figure himself out, taking random classes and trying odd jobs – while I am staying put in my current job as I don’t want to take any risks that may effect our financial prospects should we want to move in together, get married etc.. I’ve had to be patient and be encouraging and not let my fear of him being unemployed take over me.

    I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing as I think all relationships has a push & pull – one sacrifices while the other goes toward their dream. But as a woman, I think we have more to consider than men.

  • You are so right, and this needs to change and was basically the crux of Lean In (although I’m not a huge fan of that book in its entirety) — that managers, both male and female, need to lead the way in supporting working parents.

  • Thanks Taste of France, you nailed it.

  • Taste of France, Rebecca, Maria – thank you. Great comments.

  • Of course sharing professional doubts and desires with a loved one helps. But striking the right (=which satisfies everybody) balance between professional aspirations of 2 persons is also really difficult and stressful.
    I’m a young career woman in a relationship and I must confess I did not expect it would be so hard… this is 2016 for God’s sake !!

    As was said by Taste of France, men and women are confronted to different standards and this makes it even more difficult. Valorizing professionnal success when you are a woman is going to be much more difficult.

    Rules of relation are not the same depending on whether you are man or woman, definitely.

    As a young career woman in a relationship I must say

  • Bonjour le Studio,

    je trouve que c’est un super sujet de discussion (je suis aussi actuellement dans cette interrogation car je suis en couple mais je dois peut-être changer de ville l’année pro mais j’aime beaucoup la personne avec qui je suis.). Pourrait-on en parler dans un futur Pardon My French ou un Facebook Talk avec Garance et les personnes de l’équipe ?

    Bonne journée :) <3

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