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Soft / Tough

5 years ago by

Soft / Tough

Comment trouver le bon équilibre entre force et douceur, même en matière de beauté ?
C’est un peu la quête universelle : on a envie d’avoir l’air fortes, mais que tout ça soit enveloppé dans un peu de tendresse. (Là, on quitte peut-être le registre de la coiffure et du make-up …)(La dualité « Sois forte »/ »Sois vulnérable » … c’est tellement complexe)
Bref, ce dilemme intérieur se manifeste par ce qu’on cherche à véhiculer à travers notre apparence.
C’est peut-être pour ça que j’ai tellement adoré le look des filles chez Carven la semaine dernière. Le sillage de décontraction et de douceur laissé par les mannequins tandis qu’elles déambulaient, ce maquillage nu qui faisait vraiment authentique, pas surfait. Mais c’est ce dénuement, comme si elles étaient toutes sorties d’un film de Fellini, qui contrastait avec le discret piercing de narine d’Ana qui m’a vraiment ravie. Ça m’a fait croire que le grunge était un vrai classique (on le savait déjà ?). 
J’ai eu un anneau dans le nez pendant des années, et c’est un truc auquel j’ai souvent pensé, même si je n’ai pas toujours fait attention… J’ai commencé par éviter les looks en cuir trop marqués et les silhouettes plus masculines. Et je me suis réfugiée dans une approche de la beauté et du style plus féminine.
Du coup, je me demandais quel était le bon dosage de force et de douceur ? Est-ce que vous pensez à équilibrer votre silhouette ? Avec un piercing, une coupe de cheveux ou un détail moins visible ? Et où est-ce que vous trouvez cet équilibre parfait ?


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  • Neada,
    I would love if you did a post going deeper on this issue of being tough vs being vulnerable; get your take on the subject. I think you hit on one of the harder challenges out there especially for us girl/woman and all the expectations placed on us to be the gentle sex, but also having to compete in such a cutthroat society. We live in a society that although preaching about the values of being open, we collectively look down on those people who are soft/open and friendly. The ultimate cool person is a b****/a**hole who acts like the other person doesn’t matter, and everything is beneath them. So everyone is always trying to act like they are too good for this world, but then if they don’t act like this, other people won’t really appreciate them as they would be too accessible and who wants what is accessible… Any way, I used to think the toughest person was someone who was really sharp, but now I’ve found that the people who are able to be vulnerable and not be bitter or become an a**hole in such a tough world, are the toughest people out there! I hope I become one of those one day:)

  • As for the clothing… I always loved the contrast of hard/architectural/leather and soft and flowy.

  • it’s good to have a nice balance. I don’t know what the good balance is but it’s definitely a good thing to think about

    Ray-Ban giveaway on my blog!


  • Encountered this same problem when getting dressed this past Saturday night. I was wearing a silk slip dress and desperately wanted to pare it with a leather jacket. It was suggested to me that the jacket was far too tough for the dress. The only way I could think of adding a bit of edge was a silver ring on my knuckle. Otherwise, I think I failed to get the proper balance.

  • I think about this a lot as well. I have a nose ring, ears full of piercings and a couple small tattoos. I’ve always loved skating that line of strength vs soft. I love making the edgy bits feel soft and feminine. I love the contrast but extra decorations come with a need for balance. I try to be somewhere in the middle of strong and tender. Whether it’s what I’m wearing or the jewelry I wear in my piercing(only small gold hoops like the image), my beauty look etc. It is a balancing act, something I am pretty aware of, that I want to find softness in my edges and vice versa. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t(!) but that’s the game of self expression isn’t it?

    xx Janelle


  • Contrast is key for a completed look – feminity and strength, modern yet classic.


  • Maybe you are asking the wrong question Who says you need a balance? Who tells you when you are « balanced? » Be who you are and don’t care too much about others opinions. Especially about how you want to dress.

  • To your point regarding adjusting your style of dress after the nose piercing, I recently cut off my long hair for the first time since I was 12 years old (yet even then, it was a bob and it’s now a modified pixie–actually, I used Garance’s « chop » as a reference.) I now find myself wanting to dress in a much more feminine way. Before my chop I owned like 3 lip glosses and 2 lipsticks, and after I almost immediately ran out and bought 11 lip glosses and 11 lipsticks in colors I had never dreamed of wearing! Before the chop I considered buying a new pair of tassel loafers, and afterwards I nixed the idea after trying a pair on and feeling very masculine (not in a good way) and instead bought a pair of 2.5 inch block heel thick strappy sandals.
    It’s funny how little changes to our appearance can make us want to change even more, especially because making the initial change may have seemed like such a huge deal to begin with!

  • Oh I absolutely love the contrast of subtle and strength. Daring, edgy, bold and somewhat insolent….but delicate and femenin.It doesen´t get more provocative and creative than this.


  • This is a really difficult question to answer, especially in our times, where (let’s say it) we have to be more a man than a woman. We have to get tough in order to be accepted and taken seriously in our society. The worst is that we do that ourselves. I have to admit, that it’s more difficult for me to take seriously someone in a « girly » outfit (you know, the pink kind, with a ponytail). This is unfortunate. Here’s the reason why grunge, rock, piercings and androgyne is so popular.

  • Madeliene Rose 6 octobre 2015, 8:01 / Répondre

    I love these two contradictory elements and i think the shot you have used here tells exactly how beautiful blending something rough with something delicate and frail looking. This is my version of beauty – blending contradictory elements thus making people stop and look more closely.


  • C’est vraiment dur d’équilibrer parfois; Même si on sait qu’on doit le faire, on a souvent envie d’être soit plus girly, soit plus ‘tough’. La photo est en tout cas très belle, et elle illustre parfaitement le sujet !


  • Such a beautiful women with stunning makeup! Love the subtile nose ring.


  • I think these young model can pull off any ‘look’.

    And I would like to quote Yohji Yamamotto on this subject. We ( man/women ) are the same. I dont see why women should fall into the traditional definition of feminine or masculine. Any sex can have any of the characteristics.

     » We are different in body. But the same in spirit. « , he said. I agree. All this classification is rather superficial. A women in a dress can look tough ( Anna W ). A women sporting thrifted masculine wear can be super sensitive ( Patti S ).

    These definitions need to go !

  • je trouve que ce genre d’anneau fin est magnifique, il peut faire le meme effet qu’un fin bijoux doré, bague, collier ou bracelet. moi j’opterais peut etre plus pour un faux piercing pour ne pas l’avoir tout le temps mais sinon je trouve que ca peut vraiment aller avec tout les styles.

  • Gunnar Berli 31 octobre 2015, 9:42 / Répondre

    How do you girls like boys and men with fade or high fade haircut?

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