Tub Thoughts

Where’s the Self Love?

3 years ago by

Where’s the Self Love?

Je suis quelqu’un de très attentif aux interactions sociales auxquelles je participe au quotidien. Échanger un sourire avec une autre sardine dans le métro, discuter quelques instants avec le caissier de Whole Foods, rirre avec un inconnu un peu excentrique dans la rue… c’est tous ces moments qui font que j’aime NY. Ces derniers temps pourtant, je me focalise pas mal sur mon mode de communication interne. Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais les commentaires les plus durs, ce sont ceux que je me fais à moi-même. Je suis plus sensible à cette énorme pression à laquelle nous faisons face, et finalement, la relation qu’on a avec soi-même n’est peut-être pas la plus évidente. Je pense qu’être dans le moment présent, c’est la première étape pour venir à bout d’un cercle vicieux fait d’auto-critique et de jugements sévères. Jamais je n’oserais parler à une amie comme il m’arrive de m’adresser à moi-même ! Comment l’acceptation de soi nous permet-elle de mieux nous aimer ? A quel moment cesse-t-on de se comparer aux millions de personnes qui seront toujours plus intelligentes, plus drôles, plus riches, plus jolies et plus minces… pour commencer à apprécier ce qu’on a ? Vouloir absolument s’améliorer est-il un objectif sain ? Où se situe la frontière entre cette volonté de grandir, mûrir et celle d’être fier de ce qu’on a accompli, malgré nos imperfections ?


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  • I see myself in this article. I don’t feel that my inner self pressures me in terms of my body image. But I do feel the pressure to be perfect in what I do. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Virgo, but I always was super hard on myself. Even in school, I forced myself to do the very best project in the class or to have the best score! Today, I’m exactly the same with my work! I don’t know how to stop it, but I feel that I’m a bit more « lazy » and for me… that’s a good sign! It means that I’m a bit less obcessed!

  • By always keeping in mind that other people are human too, and they have their flaws and problems as we do . Kisses

  • I live for this post! Bravo x

  • Absolutely beautiful ?

  • I love that you touch this subject and I think it could be a very interesting topic for the blog: How to learn to love youself?


  • I think that the line is very fine. :)

    I’m in my 40s so I’ve lived for some time and in my experience it’s very dangerous to push yourself all the time.

    Of course it makes all the difference what you push yourself for. If you push yourself for something that YOU really really want, it’s not so bad.

    But very often we think that we want something but actually we just want it to be more accepted by others.

    I’ve learned that it’s very important to try to be satisfied with yourself. And not to try to improve your weaknesses but develop your strengths.

    And it’s important to think with your own head, not to let everyone else to define you. Even if it seems that what you feel snd think is sooo different from what others think and feel. (And often it’s not so different, it’s just that people are afraid to admit those feelings and thoughts).

    It’s normal to feel the need to be accepted by others. To be more kind to other people is one way to start the good circle.

    Trying to appreciate yourself and respecting others- that’s the only way to be happy anyway. :)

  • The voice of the inner critic is seductive because it is so familiar, and our culture doesn’t discourage self-flagellation (whether internal or aloud).

    I have some suggestions about how to notice, question, and then let go of this habit: http://www.teachingbalance.com/blog/2017/10/16/stop-beating-yourself-up

    <3 Kristin

  • This makes me a bit sad, because I think the city you live in and the field you work in increase your problem on a daily basis. It’s all about competition and looking at others and being looked at constantly.
    Even here on the blog by the Atelier, you constantly talk about very successful people who do everything super perfectly, being super « creative » (I find this word super tiring to be honest), super organized, super beautiful, super smart with raising their children, dealing successfully with problems at work or whatever you can think about.
    HOW could you feel comfortable ? How could you accept to be sometimes (or often) not perfect, when the truth is not spoken ? By truth I mean the fact that all these perfect people are just like everyone else, trying to do their best, but also having a lot of doubts, problems, etc, and THAT’S OK.
    And what I find really really sad, it’s that this pressure may actually kill our cognitive or creative abilities, because our mind is not free, always feeling guilty, wanting to show off. This way our mind cannot function properly.
    It’s hard to love ourself when there is soooo much pressure ! Unless you realize that all of this is just a show.

  • Clotilde, yes!!! You are spot on.

  • I actually despise the phrase ‘perfectly imperfect’. Nobody in their right mind would ever want to be perfect. To suggest you could be perfectly imperfect defeats the purpose of self acceptance. Accept that you and everyone around you has flaws. And that’s ok! I personally stay away from perfect. I’d rather be sunny, wonderful, awesome, kind bitchy, funny, drunk, smart, dumb, thin, chubby, foxy or a combo of all of these rather than ‘perfectly imperfect’. ‘Perfect’ is an illusion and it can fuck off.

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