Tub Thoughts

Who Do You See?

4 years ago by

Who Do You See?

Est-ce que vous vous reconnaîtriez si vous vous aperceviez dans la rue ?

Oui, je sais, c’est une question un peu bizarre et compliquée. Ce qui a trait à la perception qu’on a de soi-même m’a toujours interpellée. Moi, j’aime à croire que je sais comment les autres me perçoivent physiquement, mais en même temps, je me connais tellement bien (je crois que ça vaut pour tout le monde…) qu’une partie de moi pense que je me vois différemment.

C’est drôle, parce qu’à chaque fois que je me vois en photo, j’ai un petit moment de surprise : « Ha, c’est moi, là ? », comme si je n’avais jamais croisé mon reflet. Mais je crois que la façon dont on se voit est très éloignée de celle dont les autres nous perçoivent. Même Natalie n’était pas hyper contente de sa photo de profil parce qu’elle trouvait qu’elle ne lui ressemblait pas. Alors que nous, on la trouvait super belle dessus. Intéressant, non ? Ce à quoi on pense ressembler, la façon dont les autres nous perçoivent… Je crois qu’on serait beaucoup à être agréablement surpris de savoir comment un passant lambda nous perçoit. Et finalement, on gagnerait tous à lâcher prise et à être plus indulgents avec nous-mêmes… peut-être que c’est ça, le secret, pour s’accepter tel qu’on est… Qu’on ait le nez arqué, les hanches larges ou autre. Non ? Ça vous parle ?


Ajouter le votre
  • Get in the habit of being kind to yourself before its too late! Otherwise, when you are in your sixties, it can be tough to see the once reasonably photogenic you age in not-so-photogenic ways. I try to remind myself that I am my own worst critic, and yes, s*&t happens. Real beauty comes from within, right?

  • Actually, what I saw with my mother was that in her mind’s eye she was still at her best (in her mid-30s) even when she was nearly 90. Capable, OK-looking, able-bodied. She was ready to go, but her body continually disappointed her. It’s so true we must love the person we see in the mirror.
    When I hear myself telling my kid, « when I was your age, » those teen years flash back as if they were yesterday, not like decades ago. Realizing my mom was doing the same thing, relating to the moment and to the past, made me much more compassionate with her.

  • I feel you, Judith! Beauty should be inside – out, not outside – in. We all could be a little easier on ourselves.

    Tori x

  • teresa ribeiro 18 avril 2017, 4:57 / Répondre

    it’s not just you at all!!!!
    I’m very interested about this topic actually! I always get surprised when i see myself on some video or pictures because it’s as if I have a perception of how I look when I’m reacting to something, but the truth is that I look very different from that! The same with my overall look… I know why I dress in a certain way and I have my own motivations, but I always wonder what is the message I pass to others… do they get my references…or they roll their eyes in a « what was she thinking?! » kind of way… like I do a lot! (yes, i can be very critical about others!ahhaha)
    Anyway, on this theme, I have started a sort of a project on my instagram: i take …we can call them selfies… dressed up, full makeup and accessoriezed with my own watercolor drawings as different characters! what i enjoy the most about this project is the process, but It’s been also very interesting to see myself in a different way and also to have the reactions of others.
    just to finish I think this topic is very interesting and in our world, where image is key, it’s only fair to question how much of ourselves can others actually see? Please develope!!!
    I hope I didn’t make too much confusion with my writting! :)

  • No confusion at all, Teresa! Thank you for your thoughtful comment. And this project you are working on sounds quite interesting! Best of luck with it :)

    Tori x

  • Teresa Ribeiro 19 avril 2017, 2:43

    by the way, for the instagram thing: #piccolotravesti

  • No! I hardly recognize myself when I see me in a window reflection!


  • Well, the thing is…what you see in the mirror is not you – it is your reverted image! I have a photographic project idea for you, guys: Take a series of photos of people – normal and then revert them. As we only see ourselves « reverted », these images would be more recognizable for us. Those « normal » images is what other people see us like.
    It always surprises me to see myself in a photo, too, because that is noone I would be used to seeing in the mirror!

  • Wow, Leia, thank you for the note! We will definitely consider this thought.

    Tori x

  • I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and every time I see myself in photos it gets me thinking ‘is that really me? is that the way people see me?’ I must say not always do I like the image, haha. But maybe that’s just the critical part of me that says, ‘woman, stop having photos taken!’

  • Haha I’m with you, Ola. Enough with all the pictures all of the time. I feel like I’m always on video or being photographed now with social media, it can be stressful!

    Tori x

  • I appreciated this post so much – as someone who struggled for years with eating disorders, I always thought that it was those illnesses that made me unable to see myself how everyone else does. Looking at photographs of myself is always especially shocking, with me always volleying between thinking I am prettier than I am or that I am not photogenic. This post makes me realize that those feelings aren’t residual from those disorders, and that in general everyone has a hard time seeing themselves for who they really are. I greatly appreciate how the Atelier Dore team isn’t afraid to talk about their emotions or feelings – it makes the rest of us, who either can’t open up or are surrounded by others who have a hard time opening up, realize that they aren’t so alone in feeling a certain way.

  • Thank you for opening up with us, Kate. Comments like this are so powerful and make what we do meaningful and worth it. I think the thing to take away from this is that everyone has their hang ups no matter how small or big they may be – you are never alone in it!

    Tori xo

  • I have the same feeling, and more so on video… the girl there doesn’t seem to be me, and she does not sound like me either. I guess I’ve always had a distorted perception of self. Inside I see myself differently…
    This post is definitely food for thought, and I like the articles that make me consider things in a different way, they point things that I’ve never paid attention to, and bring in me a desire to learn more about myself and to answer the Why’s… It makes me go buy a self-improvement book or something… in this fast moving world, when we do not have time to slow down, to breath…


  • Jacqueline 21 avril 2017, 8:10 / Répondre

    Très belle fille de cheveux! Avec mes problèmes de perte de cheveux, donc en général déjà jaloux!


From the Archives

French Gurus
  • French Gurus
  • Holiday Gifting
  • This or That
  • Happy Holidays!
  • #AtelierDoréDoes
French Guru / Christophe Robin

French Guru / Christophe Robin

French Guru / Martine De Richville

French Guru / Martine De Richville

french guru valerie espinasse garance dore photo

French Guru / Valerie Espinasse

laura nolte in her words garance dore photo

In Her Words: Laura Nolte

In Her Words georgia graham grarance dore photo

In Her Words: Georgia Graham

joelle ciocco garance dore photo

French Guru / Joelle Ciocco

In Her Words: Lauren Bastide

In Her Words: Lauren Bastide

French Guru / Laura Mercier

French Guru / Laura Mercier

marina khorosh dbag dating in her words

In Her Words: Marina Khorosh