Sunday morning, I left my house in a big rush. I had a photo shoot, I was running late, and I needed to bring outfits with me, so I was carrying a big bag –plus add to that my keys, headphones, and a clutch in my hands, and before I shut the door behind me, I remembered to go grab my bracelet, the one Chris got me for my birthday.
I went out into the street with two thousand things on my mind, as usual, and right as I was about to put some music on my headphones, I looked at my wrists, and there was nothing there.
I started rummaging through my clutch, my bag, and my pockets, then I started looking around me and, still, nothing. That’s when I started to feel kind of dizzy.
I began retracing my steps, making sure to look carefully all along the way. Nothing. I got all the way to my apartment and I told Chris right away what had happened and we went looking for the bracelet together.
But we didn’t find it.
I’d lost it.
After giving Chris a big hug, I left for my photo shoot. I tried not to cry, but tears were streaming down my cheeks and I still felt a little dizzy inside.
I couldn’t understand how this happened. I rarely lose things. Plus, I’m the kind of person who tries to find meaning in everything. I’m a little (too) spiritual maybe – I always tell myself things happen for a reason. I believe in destiny. I believe that, if we lose something, it didn’t belong to us in the first place. Or that we needed to get rid of it for some reason.
But…could that be true for the bracelet I’d just put on so I wouldn’t have to spend the day without it?
I don’t have many things that hold a lot of sentimental value for me. I’ve always been a little wary of things that carry too much emotion – maybe because I’m a pretty sensitive person.
I have a watch my mother got for me, and over the years, it’s become a symbol of her warm and protective presence looking out for me. But the truth is – and you’re probably going to tell me I’m crazy – but when I need a warm and protective presence in my life, I just close my eyes, and I see my grandmother’s smile up in the blue sky somewhere.
I arrived at the photo shoot somewhat on time and, right then, in front of everyone, I burst into tears. And apologized for being so sensitive. And said I wasn’t usually like this. I also apologized for being late and explained what had happened, and everyone tried to reassure me.
Delphine had lost a gold necklace her fiancé had gotten for her in the showers at an Equinox, and she was teary eyed for days. Paul, the photographer, had lost a gold bracelet symbolizing the love between him and his wife, and he’d been extremely stressed out about it – the whole team remembered. Laura, the hairstylist, had also lost a bracelet and she never got over it.
Each person remembered exactly how they felt in that moment.
It made me feel a little better. Just a little.
It’s interesting, the things we get attached to. These symbols, gifts, and objects we put so much meaning into. Even though I talk about fashion and jewelry all the time, I didn’t really realize how much emotion we could attach to things like that.
Obviously, like in every moment in my life, I texted my sister, and told her exactly what I’ve just told you. And this was her response:
“Come on – there’s no such thing as signs. Life is what you make of it – you know that.”
Laetitia Beverragi, or the voice of reason.
Why do you think I text her every second of my life? :)
And after that, I got a text from Chris.
“I love you. You love me. That’s all that matters.”
Yeah, I cried a little more, but only on the inside, because the makeup artist had just started on my mascara and I’d already given enough of a show.
Even so, I still went home in detective mode, looking under cars, asking in all the shops if anyone had brought in a bracelet. But nothing. We even put an ad on Craigslist… but it looks like we’ll never find it. We’ll never be able to explain how this happened. C’est la vie.
Have you ever lost something that was really important to you?
Translated by Andrea Perdue