Winter, you don’t scare me!!!
In honor of New York Fashion Week coming up, now that magazines are already starting to talk about spring fashion, and you can’t even find a good sweater in stores anymore (“It’s not the right season, miss, but we do have some great t-shirts if you’d like!!!”) I feel like talking to you about winter fashion, real winter fashion — what my friends and I have been wearing to try to survive since November already.
And it doesn’t look like we’re anywhere close to spring yet. No, no. Not in New York anyway.
Imagine New York for a moment. Average temperature — anywhere from 23 to 35 degrees Farenheit — just above freezing on a good day. There’s constant ice on the ground, and it keeps trying to melt, making the walkways super slippery and muddy.
And now imagine me — making my way through the crowd on Broadway, headed toward the Studio, with my pencil skirt, my Céline coat, my Manolos, hair blowing in the wind, all rosy cheeks and smoky eyes. You know — a day like any other.
But no — absolutely not. It’s so cold!!!
Let me explain the three stages of my winter style.
There are days when I try to dress with all aspects of winter in mind. I want to be chic, warm, comfortable, practical. But it’s like in everything: you can’t have it all. So it’s usually a complete failure.
Monday, for example, I realized when I was in the taxi that, in my pursuit of style and warmth, I’d ended up wearing a completely random outfit.
Ok, I have to say, I was running super late* and I had gotten dressed really really fast.
But I was wearing my blue Prada brogues with gray socks, flannel pants, a Gap puffer jacket UNDER my COS coat (it’s way too cold to wear only one coat)(and I’m not even talking about a thin puffer jacket like from Uniqlo. This was a super thick one)(+20 pounds), and of course, a striped beanie, TO TIE THE CATASTROPHE ALL TOGETHER.
Fortunately, I was just going to lunch with a friend. Unfortunately, we were sitting right across from Jake G y llenh a al. I prepared my friend for fashion shock by sending her this text:
But I don’t think she could have possibly anticipated this big of a disaster.
As for Jake, he was also wearing a beanie, but for some reason, on him it looked more like: “LA celebrity having lunch with his agent in New York” and on me it was like: “Lost girl with greasy hair having lunch with her therapist.”
But at least I actually tried that day.
There are also days of desperation where I look at my schedule, see that nothing really requires a specific outfit, and then out of pure winter exhaustion, I decide to forget about style altogether.
On those days, I bring out my VCGSJB outfit.
I wear a pair of Vans (so I don’t slip)
A huge Canada Goose parka (it’s really cold!!!)
A pair of Jeans.
A Beanie (it’s really cold!!!)
And my makeup has been smeared for a long time already. The cold makes me cry!!!
As long as I’m outside, it’s fine.
I’m incognito, and even if I see someone I know from far away, I just keep walking straight ahead — especially since the Canada Goose parka is so common right now (everyone in New York has one) I figure I could actually be anyone.
I just have to cover up a little with my scarf and no one will even notice it’s me.
I would hate for anyone to think the VCGSJB is my main winter outfit, after all.
(And plus when I’m in winter mode, I’m like Larry David. I avoid the stop and chat.)(It’s so cold!!!)
Not only are we as white as a pair of Common Projects — on top of it all, there’s no good lighting to save us. It’s so gray out!!!
So that’s why, if you see me running on Broadway, it’s just because — ok, I’m probably late, but most of all, I don’t want to run into anyone!!!
Ok, sure. There are days when I really do actually try, and with fashion week coming up, those kinds of days are unfortunately going to be coming one right after another.
It will be one big pile of mini-worries, such as:
• Wiping out on the ice (classic move when you’re wearing heels)
• Figuring out whether or not to wear a beanie
The annoying thing about beanies, as you know, is when you take them off. Your hair is flat or bipolar (I’m sure that’s why Jake kept his on at the restaurant on Monday) which only adds to the esthetic poetry of our tired winter faces. The other day, I went to the New York City Ballet, and I decided to keep my beanie on to avoid having hysterical hair, and I spent at least ten minutes asking myself if it was ok to do that — keep your beanie on at the ballet. No one else in the audience was wearing a hat or a beanie…
• Bringing along another pair of shoes that stick out of your bag, to avoid wiping out on the ice.
• That moment of solitude when you change your shoes (going from Louboutins to Vans) and you end up running into the exact person you were hoping to impress with your heels at the meeting you just left (that happens to me every other time, pretty much). If the person is nice, they’ll throw on their Canada Goose parka and pretend they never saw anything.
• The days when you decide the cold doesn’t scare you (everyone decides that at some point, but you’ll regret it every time) so you don’t wear enough layers and you end up totally frozen. Last time this happened, I thought my face was going to be frozen in place and that I’d be permanently botoxed by the cold. For two seconds, I even thought it didn’t seem like such a bad idea, hahaha.
• The surprising days when suddenly, it’s warmer than expected, and you’re dressed like you’re ready for the Arctic Tundra, so you end up sweating all day long.
And the list goes on — winter worries are infinite, and honestly, my winter blues probably comes down to one simple thing I finally understood:
In the winter, it’s impossible to be very well-dressed.
Well, at least not every day. There are miracle days, sure. That’s what we have Instagram for. But the rest of the time, you just do what you can, and wait for spring.
*Not to make excuses, but right now my life is one big series of delays. I’m finishing my book right now — I know, I’ve been saying that for two months, but it’s getting super intense, it’s the final stretch, the deadline is two weeks away, I’m having heated debates about the title, I’ve got 12345 illustrations to finish in the next ten days, and so on. Like I said, not trying to make excuses. But seriously, I’m late everywhere right now…
Translated by Andrea Perdue