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Au Revoir, Facebook!

5 years ago by

Au Revoir, Facebook!

Last week, I decided I was going to delete Facebook…

After seven years of posting, liking and commenting, I decided it was time to cut down the noise. Like Garance, I had become so used to the constant beeping and buzzing of my phone that it was sewn permanently attached to my hand at all waking hours! I was always scrolling through my Facebook feed and responding to messages from friends — it became difficult to do anything without mindlessly scrolling during dinner or a movie, or even as soon as I’d rolled up my yoga mat.

And none of my friends really thought I would delete it, and maybe neither did I… But I did! I deactivated my account at the beginning of this week (not quite the same as completely deleting it, but almost…) and it’s changed the way my friends communicate with me.

They’ve now started calling or texting when something really cool or really important needs to be shared (still every day!). And I get thoughtful, long essays emails from friends who live overseas. So far, so good… Plus there’s always Instagram.

How do you cut out the noise?

42 comments

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  • I never even joined Facebook. For the same reason – I didn’t want another source of extra noise. My closest friends call, text or e-mail. I don’t feel that I need Facebook. Maybe just because I never had it.

    Actually – I wonder how people can check their gadgets all the time? Doesn’t anybody have a regular job where you have to concentrate on something and don’t have time to check your personal e-mails, texts etc…?

    I usually check my e-mail twice a day and that’s it. I don’t have any notifications switched on…. Is this weird?

    PS. This is the only blog I read on the internet! Thank you! :)

  • i have facebook but i have never downloaded it on my phone :)

    http://littleaesthete.com

  • I think about leaving Facebook too, but then I have friends who only use Facebook and not Instagram, so then I would maybe lose touch? I would hope not. To cut the noise, I try to only allow myself the pleasure of scrolling and liking after hours, so that it doesn’t become all consuming, and you know I start to see and think more clearly.
    Cool that a you did it!

    http://www.blushandbeyond.com

  • I cut out noise by getting rid of a lot of friends on Facebook…though I have considered getting rid of it completely. One terrible side effect of things like Facebook is that they sometimes become the ONLY way that people communicate. I can’t remember the last time my mother called me (I always have to call her), but she likes and comments on my Facebook updates every single day. Before she was on Facebook, she would call all the time!

    I also miss getting letters/emails from relatives…kinda want to bring that back!

  • I second R.’s comment! So refreshing to hear from someone else who never joined Facebook! For me, it allows for a more balanced life.

  • veli izzet November, 13 2014, 12:57 / Reply

    Life is noisy, and dull and grey, except for the few moments that makes life colorful, happy and worth living.. The magic is being able not to miss the valuable in all this noise.

  • Congratulations Neada!

    I deactivated my Facebook account about 6 years back and I’ve been surviving just fine :)
    It’s healthy because I spend more time living my real life the way I’d like to and don’t have to create a virtual facade or seek validation from 1100 ‘friends’.
    If nothing else, I realized who all are really important to me and put effort into those relationships.

    The downside: I meet interesting people, but they can only sustain conversations through Facebook, so I don’t end up knowing them as well I’d like to.

  • I agree with your post. Killing my FB account made me have more time, I cut the noise and our natural tendency to peek into other people’s lives. Also, I realized who my real friends are, and how much time I spent communicating with people who do not care.
    The things I miss are easiness of communication with distant friends, comments my friends post below our mutual pictures, as well as news feeds on the events/things happening in the city/new trends.
    Sometimes I enjoy being able to tell: I do not have FB, you can’t find me there.

  • I have deleted Facebook from my phone this week and only look at it once a day now. So much better. Perhaps I will deleted next?

  • Facebook-free since 2012, and I don’t miss it at all! I, too, was worried that I would be missing out or that it would be more difficult to stay in touch with people or even make new friends, but I’ve found that my existing relationships have deepened, and people find other mediums to communicate with me. And yes, there’s always Instagram :-) Congratulations, Neada!

  • Good for you! I’ve been “off” Facebook for over a year now and it is fantastic. Facebook does have some benefits that I’ve missed out on (eg, party invites, keeping in touch with certain people, etc.), but nothing that important and the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Facebook really has become such a drag and all it really seems to be is a forum for people to post vacation photos and baby pictures. I mean, enough already. And the biggest reward you’ll get from leaving is less wasted time!

  • YAAAYYY bienvenue au club!! J’ai quitté Facebook (supprimer mon compte) il y a maintenant 2 ans (je l’avais fait également 2 ans plus tôt mais quand j’ai déménagé de Montréal à Toronto on m’avait assuré que ma vie en prendrait un coup, que je devais à tout prix rester connecter…) et bon, j’ai lâché tout ça, pas pour avoir une source de contact en moins, mais pour améliorer mes contacts live. Reconnecter par un café plutôt qu’un like, recevoir des superbes et longs courriels de mes amis, j’aime beaucoup mieux ma vie sans! Et surtout que ça m’empoisonnait, d’essayer d’avoir les plus belles photos, les plus beaux voyages… bref, je préfère garder ça pour ceux qui viennent avec moi!

    xo

  • I use Facebook as a means to connect, definitely not about true friendship. My real friends call me or text me or see me regularly enough to already know what I share on FB. I’m not overly obsessed, but I could absolutely check it less. :] // ? itsCarmen.com ?

  • that’s such a great decision! I really dislike facebook!

    giveaway on my blog!

    http://hashtagliz.com

  • j’échange peu avec des amis sur Facebook, ça me sert surtout à me tenir informée des news des pages que j’aime, à la place d’une newsletter ou d’un flux RSS. Je préfère le flux RSS car au moins je ne perds pas d’information et je retrouve les vieilles données et je les consultes quand je veux, mais de plus en plus de sites oublient de proposer le flux RSS, quel dommage.

  • Good article. Although I did find it because of a facebook post – and clicked over. :)

    I use facebook to stay in touch with friends. It tends to bore me more easily lately, so I’m not as immersed in it as I once was. I work with teens at church and facebook is still a main way we (the students and leaders) connect during the week, so for now, I’ll keep it.

  • Just put it away! The phone, the tablet…I ‘try’ to put it all away for a few hours each day.

  • Je n’ai pas bien compris…. votre compte FB l’avez vous “vraiment” supprimé ou alors “juste” désactivé ?….

  • Hi there,

    2 years ago I got a smartphone, like many people, and got overwhelmed by its possibilities and ever accessibility to the internet. It became all consuming until I realised I didn’t want to be so dependent on it. So what could I do about it? I sat down and thought about how I wanted to spend my precious time and what I wanted to dedicate it on: work, hobbies, family, friends, socializing, concerts, books… I have a lot of interests and a busy life. Defining this really helped me putting the phone down and not let it take over my life and time any more. I still have a smartphone, I still have Facebook, I am just more conscious about how much I want to use it, what I want to put into it and what I want to get out of it. Drawing myself back to this, helps me use my time the way I feel makes me happiest, it puts things in a more relative perspective. For me it was about finding a balance that works and that included introducing 3 grounds rules in our household too: no phone or internet until after breakfast, no phone during meals, phone off after 10pm (unless there is a deadline to meet!). I also took some time to organise my social media better, curate the information so I receive what I find most interesting and cut out the crap or what is not of interest to me. This too de-clutters social media, tailoring them to your needs and wishes. This is in a nutshell, but by essentially changing my attitude to Facebook and internet and social media in general, I was able to create more time and headspace for other things, I was able to see the value of it in a more relative perspective. I also make a point of not always taking out the phone, but to look around from time to time while waiting or sitting on the bus, space out and observe the world. It’s wonderful. And yes, it required a bit of discipline at the beginning, but it is well worth it.

    Have a lovely weekend!

    Els

  • Hey,
    I never signed up to Facebook because I never felt the need for it. And I’ve always said that I already spend waaaay to much time on computers or iphone so I kinda fear what my life would be with facebook !
    The ones that don’t know me always ask how can I live without it and I explain that the ones that know me for not having facebook actually send me special invites by email or text.
    And honestly I really wouldn’t like getting cought by the past from pre-school ‘colleagues’ ! And it’s already easy to find out about me on the internet, that it scares me…

  • I don’t allow the noise to become the end all, be all of my life. Friends know that I’m not permanently attached to my phone, I’m not always on Facebook or Instagram, that I have a life that doesn’t involve social media at all sometimes. I enjoy nature, time with my husband, antique shopping, reading books, board games, and plenty of other things that don’t require that “noise”. It’s just never been that important to me.

    I don’t mean for that to sound like I think I’m better than anyone because that’s not true…I feel like this comment might read that way – but it’s just how I prefer to live my life. :)

  • No Insta account :) No smart phone just cell…Sabina @Oceanblue Style

  • Hi folks
    I seem to have found a use for Facebook that suits me fine, as a way of receiving the latest posts from all of my favorite blogs, newspapers and magazines, covering the very varied subjects that interest me. An avid reader of everything since forever….even the cereal packet if there’s nothing else around, it feels as if I have created my own magazine where I choose the subjects and the writers, I am not bound to read, just the newspaper, or just a fashion magazine from cover to cover, no, I wander in and out of the blogs and press on my own personal voyage. From Garance and Vogue, to design , Remodelista and Gardenista to artists and galleries, museums and foundations, photographers and gardeners, From Dazed and Confused and Dangerous Minds to I Fucking love science!

    I love MY Facebook!

  • Like Els & Jill who commented above, I have a smartphone and a FB account, but I don’t think of any social media as a constant companion in my life. It can seem a bit like a rabbit hole and suck you into endless hours of browsing/catching up, but I always feel so little of that time really gives me quality information or interesting conversation. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and remind myself “it’s not possible to be constantly up to date for everything and everybody that I’m interested in – & that’s fine”. I can consciously choose when I engage, and I get more out of my time that way. I’m reminded of that when I go out with people who leap to respond at every buzz, bleep and whirr and it seems so bloody rude! But that’s a different gripe…
    Also, although I’m told FB is becoming passé, it still has some uses for me as I’m incredibly bad at remembering birthdays!

  • Wise decision! And a brave one too!

    ?XO?
    Jeanne
    http://fashionmusingsdiary.com

  • When you think about your relationship with FB, it’s worth remembering this:

    To Facebook, you are the PRODUCT they are data-mining and then selling. You may *think* that you’re the all-powerful consumer, but actually you & your data (every little personal thing you reveal on FB!) are the commodity.

  • Je met mon téléphone en mode avion et je ferme quelques fenêtres de trop sur Chrome ;-)

  • One day… one day……..x

  • I have a browser add-on that blocks Facebook after 10 minutes of browsing a day, so that I can only use it for a) important contacting friends things or b) 10 minutes of zoned-out scrolling. It’s awesome. Best of both worlds!

  • I keep my FB account because I have some group projects for college that we manage from Facebook for the easiness of communication, but I desactivated all the notifications so it could stop ringing and bipping all the time, and it is waaaaay better now :)

    xx CarolineJ
    http://www.sleevesandheels.net

  • Funny you mention this. But I have been thinking of doing EXACTLY the same thing. Deactivating as opposed to full-on deleting it. But I have come to despise FB for a number of reasons: First the application itself which keeps changing from how it is used, to how the information is shared rules etc. Two: of all the social media apps FB seems the least intuitive ands seems to have the most issues. And three and this is the big one…FB makes me not like my friends and hate people. Really it is just TMI. I have no desire to “hear” /read everyone’s inner most tirades and self proclaimed philosophical views of life. For example one “friend” who states that she cries more at movies now that she has children and sad films are more poignant now and she feels more pain now that she has bred. Implying that people who have not had children could not possibly understand or feel the pain of life the way people with children do. At first I thought to myself–maybe she didn’t mean to be so self righteous…but then I realized yes she kinda did. Because instead of keeping this thought to herself she went out of her way to post her thoughts on her little corner of the universe. And then there is the other extreme when another “friend” posted on how offended he was at having to watch a women breast feed in the cafe he was eating at, going off on a rage-filled tirade even going as far as using the “C” word. So it seems FB allows you to see a side of people better kept to themselves. So often I think to myself, I liked you better before I friended you on FB. Nuf said.

    Allie of
    http://www.allienyc.com

  • ….mmmm..my cat does Facebook& Twitter but he’s not very taken with either…marketing junk or trivia. Who cares? ..who do people think they are that we all need to know their thoughts? Voltaire? Simone de Beauvoir? Probably not. And if they were they’d be working furiously & not communicating with anybody….

  • I really want to delete mine, I am so annoyed with it. Facebook doesn’t show you all the posts, so I miss the fun ones and the only thing I see is babies, and children. I always think what will those children think when they are older. Remember when yoir parents were showing your baby pictures, ugh. Anyway, I have to muster up the courage to cut the ties, I live abroad so sometimes it seems the only way to communicate, even if it is not like that.
    We’ll see…
    Simona
    Lake&Moon

  • Hmmm this would be a great experiement. Only if I could deactivate my personal FB while still keeping my blog FB fan page active.

  • Thank You!
    I deleted my facebook year and something ago, and now I was thinking about login again because of school.
    But .. yes, there are imessages, whatsapp, .. instagram, .. a lot of procrastinate time yet.

  • Sophie April, 3 2017, 9:36 / Reply

    Personnellement, je considère que Facebook est un bon outil de travail (pour faire des groupes privés et bosser sur certaines choses.) Après moi, je crois que je n’ai jamais supporté d’avoir la app de Facebook sur mon tél, et si je veux y accèder hors de la maison j’utilise mon navigateur, comme ça pas d’alerte.
    Instagram, c’est bien, mais c’est un peu limité comme substitut (à mon sens c’est trop linéaire et égocentrique…)

  • Wow! I would love to have less noise during my day. I have no sounds on any apps but still…. I will have to communicate and follow all my kids activities on FB. But I think I will do as many of you, delete the app and just check up on my mac once a day. Thanks!

  • Mahmuna April, 4 2017, 10:04 / Reply

    I definitely want to leave but FOMO keeps me still attached. I feel Facebook does not particularly add to my life and has served its purpose… it’s like an addiction…. I did detox by leaving it for a month…. even then I couldn’t totally stay away… I need more determination and self-control…

  • Molly Lewis May, 19 2017, 7:53 / Reply

    I took Facebook and Twitter off of my phone (left my accounts active on my laptop at home) and it has been wonderful. On my breaks I will still check the news, briefly, but then will read or, gasp!, talk to my co-workers. I think my blood pressure has gone down. I check it when I get home from work, but even then I’m finding that I no longer spend time mindlessly scrolling.

  • Claudia Bustamante May, 20 2017, 9:19 / Reply

    I don’t have FB on my phone,only on my computer,
    ça marche très bien comme ça.Je regarde seulement quand j’ai le temps…

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