The question never gets old for me.
Can guys and girls be JUST friends?
People typically have VERY strong reactions to this right away. They either role their eyes with a YES, DUH or a NO, DUH.
I, personally, have never been able to decide. It’s like asking me what’s my favorite ice cream flavor. Mint chip? Pistachio? Chocolate chip cookie dough? It’s too much pressure! I’ll just have cake.
The two differing camps usually have these two arguments:
1/ “Of course guys and girls can just be friends and that’s very naive of you if you think they can’t. I have plenty of guy (or girl) friends.” And then they rattle off said guy (or girl) friends. Thus, they believe, proving their point.
2/ The other camp usually counters with, “yes but how do you know said guy or girl friend doesn’t have feelings for you. They call you their friend but what if they secretly want more? Or maybe, if you get close enough, you’ll eventually want more from them. We’re not talking about friends who see each other once a year. We’re talking about When Harry Met Sally. Friends who help other friends unfurl carpets and make furniture decisions.”
I think I lean towards the later camp but I hate myself for that. Because I want to believe that guys and girls can be great, great friends.
Then last week at a team happy hour Emily brought up a really interesting caveat I can’t stop thinking about. She proclaimed guys and girls can be friends if they have sex early in the “friendship” so they can exercise and then exorcise any sexual tension.
I think she might be onto something. Of course you always run the risk of sleeping with your best male friend and then everything blows up in your face and you’re left with nothing. Believe me. I’ve done that. Twice.
So what camp are you in? Can guys and girls be just friends?
(And yes, I do realize how heteronormative this topic of conversation is. Of course when talking about the LGBTQ community this conversation takes a different form. But as a straight female, it’s something I’ve always pondered.)