Words of a Woman

Heather Havrilesky

3 months ago by

Heather Havrilesky

You can’t just sleep with men and learn about them that way. You have to observe and get to know men in a safe environment. You have to hang out with them and watch them and resist the urge to build your life around one of them. You have to see what men are from close range, but without imperiling your sense of yourself. You need to stand on firm ground first and foremost.

– Heather Havrilesky

*Heather Havrilesky is the voice behind The Cut’s Ask Polly advice column. This quote was pulled from her recent response to the prompt: “Men always disappoint me.


Add yours
  • This is very true. I have been surrounded by boys and men my whole life. Brothers (no sisters), my dad, uncles, my grandad, kids on my street, boys at school – all people I hung out with but with complete disregard for the fact they were male. They were just the people who were part of my life and who I liked being around.
    Now I have a husband and a son and lots of male friends. I continue to surround myself with men, and boys who are my son’s friends. I get them… I like them…. I enjoy hanging out with them… I don’t think of them as males – I just think of them as my people.

  • Jorge Alexandre Teixeira June, 25 2019, 2:22 / Reply

    Alright, you got me !!!

From the Archives

Career Stories
  • Career Stories
  • This or That
  • Happy Holidays!
  • #AtelierDoreDoes
  • How To...
  • Things I Learned
On Career…

On Career…

dore career profile elizabeth roberts architect

Career / Elizabeth Roberts

10 Rules of Being A Creative

10 Rules of Being A Creative

atelier dore 5 women on monetizing creativity shapes

5 Women on Monetizing Creativity

atelier dore jamia wilson career interview feminist press

Career / Jamia Wilson



Will Guidara Daniel Humm Atelier Dore

Will Guidara and Daniel Humm Make It Nice

private investigator atelier dore

Careers / Private Investigator

Career / BJ Topol

Career / BJ Topol