While I can’t say I’m particularly interested in the college cheating scandal that erupted in the news a few weeks ago (let’s be honest, it’s safe to say that most of us know that people with money/notoriety have been able to get ahead in the college application process)—I have been following how Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin have been portrayed in the media. While both Loughlin and her husband have been charged (William H Macy, however, hasn’t been), we’ve seen lots of tabloid covers and articles about these women, these mothers, and not a whole lot about their husbands.
And then there was this US Weekly cover from a couple of weeks ago with the headline “Monster Moms Tell All.” While I don’t agree at all with these parents bribing their kids ways into school or to have better test scores, can we just talk for a second about how this scandal is being completely pinned on these women, and not on them and their spouses? Even if Willam H. Macy was not charged, it’s obvious from what’s been reported that he was also fully aware of what was going on, and I think it’s fair to say he’s probably more famous than Lori Loughlin, and maybe even his wife, but yet his picture is nowhere to be seen on these tabloid covers.
All of this to say, shame on the media for continuing to propagate these stereotypes about women and mothers, and for failing to hold their partners accountable for actions that can’t be fully blamed on these women. Now that I’m married, I’ve noticed how often I am relegated to the position of “wife” or “spouse” and ignored (never by my husband! Just by everyone else) and I find it incredibly unfair that women have to suffer the loss of individual identity in certain situations, and then have to shoulder the full burden of blame in others. Does anyone else find this frustrating? Or is it just me?