Pocket PMF

Pocket PMF: Friendship After Kids

3 years ago by

Pocket PMF: Friendship After Kids

For the first pocket episode of our new season, a few of us sat down with Garance to talk about how friendships evolve after people start having children.

It’s an interesting thing to watch your friends become parents and see if they turn into uptight worriers or relaxed moms and dads, and how all of it influences your relationships with them, for better or worse. We talk going to kids birthday parties, hanging out with your friends’ kids, the pressures of living up to expectations, and the differences of friendship after kids in NYC and LA!

Special thanks to The Smile Radio for giving us a real studio to record in!


Add yours
  • Jorge Alexandre Teixeira October, 23 2018, 4:35 / Reply

    Garance in the beginnning was superfunny :«…and now from New York ciiiiiiityyy…our hair is cuuuuurlyyyyy…»!!! And yeah , the distance between friends becomes inevitable after kids even when your friends live in the next block , you Know ? And i totally agree with the rapid fire answers , i mean …
    Kids Partys are a Drag!!! Kids partys are equal to :
    . Parents dark circles around the eyes;
    .noise pollution (kids crying and screaming and shi*…);
    . cake an booger stains on your clothes;
    .Non-Alcoholic beverages ( unless your the guy who carries small scotch botlles you get on airplanes inside your blazer jacket)
    …so Naaaaaa…not from me ! I go to, like…3 or 4 kids partys a year with 3 months apart from each other otherwise you go insane !!!

  • Such a shame you didn’t have anyone with children involved in this podcast… You missed out a whole other point of view! Interesting points but I have to say I do feel very sorry for your friend garance, who was clearly suffering from a lot of anxiety around being a mother. Have you ever stopped and thought that instead of talking about her behind her back you could have helped her and been a better friend?

  • Veronica October, 23 2018, 1:37

    Hi Jessie,

    Yes, I agree in hindsight we should have brought in a mother. We were only able to use members of our team for this recording, and none of us are mothers (yet!). But stay tuned for another podcast that makes up for what we lack in this one… xx Veronica

  • Interesting discussion, but I’m curious why you would not include anyone with kids to get their side of the story. A bit of a disappointment in that regard.

  • Veronica October, 23 2018, 1:38

    Hi Jessica,

    We were only able to use members of our team for this recording, and none of us are mothers (yet!). But stay tuned for another podcast that makes up for what we lack in this one… xx Veronica

  • I was really excited to listen to this one. I’ve thought a lot about kids and the impact they have on friendships, both before I had my own and after! It’s a really interesting topic and I figured you would have some funny discussions and also a focus on supporting each other. But I actually found it really disappointing and possibly a bit patronising for parents (I’m sure you didn’t mean it that way). Looking forward to hearing a more thoughtful discussion next time.

  • I agree. I’m a mother of young kids and care a lot about my friendships. I also hate kids parties but motherhood is about so much more than that.

    I’m also surprised to hear young women talk about having babies as something they can do or not do whenever. If a woman doesn’t want kids, fine. But if she does, she needs to get organized for it by the age of 35. Most women can not get pregnant after 40. Even after 35 she can not expect to get pregnant easily. I wish women paid as much attention to this as they do diva cups and organic produce.

  • Omg I do not recognize myself in those mums nor those “friends” you are portraying! As a cool ( I think ) single mum of a now 15 year old boy, I can tell you that motherhood can be held without pressure. A baby is just someone new entering your life. I have made the choice to bring my kid everywhere, parties,travels sometimes even on my work place where he enjoyed being my assistant for a day ! . As a matter of fact, I have always enjoyed the company of people without kid so much . When I couldn’t take care of him he would go to friends house for the night . No,mum’s world does not only evolve around their kid , or their anxiety about not being what society is expecting from them . Too bad there was no mums there to balance the conversation! On the other hand I totally relate to the fact that you get sollicitations all the time for this pregnancy,that new born baby, this wedding and so on … so much that I think I am going to open a menopause list ;-) so I can get a chance to benefit from my colleague generosity??

  • Cristina October, 25 2018, 2:47 / Reply

    thank you! finally the truth said about kids parties! and finally the point of view, free and anashamed, of the ones with no kids in a group friends

  • wow this is was the topic i was waiting for so long, but just to find out is the same old SATC paranoia. We all have been single, enjoying the new adventure of adulthood. The new job, or promotion, or new apartment etc and we are all supouse to celebrate that even though some are going throug hard times.
    I appreciated the raw feeling, we all have it. We sometimes have go to birthday parties even thouht we are broke or we are super tired, or because we are saving for something special for us. We are always compromising in life regarding frendship demands.
    But when it comes to mariage and kids suddenly you all felt the need to compare your life to parents life. It desappointed me the way how you conducted the conversation. We dont have to compare or impose our perspective of life on others.
    For exemple when you are going to something new in life, that in a way is challenging, you call to a friend for advise even though they never experienced something simillar. Why patronizing a group of people that choose to have kids and there for had to adjust to new reality? just because you dindt have the same experience (yet) you are still part of their lifes as a friend.
    Does any one demand more time to a friend just because they spent family time with their father because you dont have a father figure in your life? does anyone demand more partytime to someone who have plans sometimes with their brothers because you are a only child? if not, why you should do it when they have kids and you dont?
    Has a new mom, i felt that friends tend to demand extra effort just to prove they matter to me. They do, they always will matter to me (to us parents). I’m am the one who perhaps needs an extra hand on how to handle this new thing called motherhood.

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