Tub Thoughts

Who Do You See?

4 years ago by

Who Do You See?

Would you recognize yourself walking down the street?

A weird and complicated question to answer! I have always found the topic of self-perception interesting and complex. I like to think that I have an idea of what I look like to other people, but at the same time, I’m so familiar with myself (as we all are…) that part of me thinks I see myself differently.

It’s funny, every time I see a photograph of myself I’m a little bit surprised – “Oh, that’s me!?” as if I had never seen my own reflection before. But I do think that we all have an idea of the image of ourselves that’s entirely different than the way other people perceive us. Even Natalie wasn’t crazy about her studio portrait because she said it didn’t feel like her, or how she saw herself. But we all loved it! And thought she looked like her best self. It’s interesting, no? How we think we appear, and how we actually are. I think most of us would be pleasantly surprised to hear how we look to a passerby – and maybe in the end, we should all just let go a little bit and be kind to ourselves – maybe that’s the secret to fully embracing ourselves. Crooked nose, wide hips and all! No? Just me?


Add yours
  • Get in the habit of being kind to yourself before its too late! Otherwise, when you are in your sixties, it can be tough to see the once reasonably photogenic you age in not-so-photogenic ways. I try to remind myself that I am my own worst critic, and yes, s*&t happens. Real beauty comes from within, right?

  • Actually, what I saw with my mother was that in her mind’s eye she was still at her best (in her mid-30s) even when she was nearly 90. Capable, OK-looking, able-bodied. She was ready to go, but her body continually disappointed her. It’s so true we must love the person we see in the mirror.
    When I hear myself telling my kid, “when I was your age,” those teen years flash back as if they were yesterday, not like decades ago. Realizing my mom was doing the same thing, relating to the moment and to the past, made me much more compassionate with her.

  • I feel you, Judith! Beauty should be inside – out, not outside – in. We all could be a little easier on ourselves.

    Tori x

  • teresa ribeiro April, 18 2017, 4:57 / Reply

    it’s not just you at all!!!!
    I’m very interested about this topic actually! I always get surprised when i see myself on some video or pictures because it’s as if I have a perception of how I look when I’m reacting to something, but the truth is that I look very different from that! The same with my overall look… I know why I dress in a certain way and I have my own motivations, but I always wonder what is the message I pass to others… do they get my references…or they roll their eyes in a “what was she thinking?!” kind of way… like I do a lot! (yes, i can be very critical about others!ahhaha)
    Anyway, on this theme, I have started a sort of a project on my instagram: i take …we can call them selfies… dressed up, full makeup and accessoriezed with my own watercolor drawings as different characters! what i enjoy the most about this project is the process, but It’s been also very interesting to see myself in a different way and also to have the reactions of others.
    just to finish I think this topic is very interesting and in our world, where image is key, it’s only fair to question how much of ourselves can others actually see? Please develope!!!
    I hope I didn’t make too much confusion with my writting! :)

  • No confusion at all, Teresa! Thank you for your thoughtful comment. And this project you are working on sounds quite interesting! Best of luck with it :)

    Tori x

  • Teresa Ribeiro April, 19 2017, 2:43

    by the way, for the instagram thing: #piccolotravesti

  • No! I hardly recognize myself when I see me in a window reflection!


  • Well, the thing is…what you see in the mirror is not you – it is your reverted image! I have a photographic project idea for you, guys: Take a series of photos of people – normal and then revert them. As we only see ourselves “reverted”, these images would be more recognizable for us. Those “normal” images is what other people see us like.
    It always surprises me to see myself in a photo, too, because that is noone I would be used to seeing in the mirror!

  • Wow, Leia, thank you for the note! We will definitely consider this thought.

    Tori x

  • I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and every time I see myself in photos it gets me thinking ‘is that really me? is that the way people see me?’ I must say not always do I like the image, haha. But maybe that’s just the critical part of me that says, ‘woman, stop having photos taken!’

  • Haha I’m with you, Ola. Enough with all the pictures all of the time. I feel like I’m always on video or being photographed now with social media, it can be stressful!

    Tori x

  • I appreciated this post so much – as someone who struggled for years with eating disorders, I always thought that it was those illnesses that made me unable to see myself how everyone else does. Looking at photographs of myself is always especially shocking, with me always volleying between thinking I am prettier than I am or that I am not photogenic. This post makes me realize that those feelings aren’t residual from those disorders, and that in general everyone has a hard time seeing themselves for who they really are. I greatly appreciate how the Atelier Dore team isn’t afraid to talk about their emotions or feelings – it makes the rest of us, who either can’t open up or are surrounded by others who have a hard time opening up, realize that they aren’t so alone in feeling a certain way.

  • Thank you for opening up with us, Kate. Comments like this are so powerful and make what we do meaningful and worth it. I think the thing to take away from this is that everyone has their hang ups no matter how small or big they may be – you are never alone in it!

    Tori xo

  • I have the same feeling, and more so on video… the girl there doesn’t seem to be me, and she does not sound like me either. I guess I’ve always had a distorted perception of self. Inside I see myself differently…
    This post is definitely food for thought, and I like the articles that make me consider things in a different way, they point things that I’ve never paid attention to, and bring in me a desire to learn more about myself and to answer the Why’s… It makes me go buy a self-improvement book or something… in this fast moving world, when we do not have time to slow down, to breath…


  • Jacqueline April, 21 2017, 8:10 / Reply

    Très belle fille de cheveux! Avec mes problèmes de perte de cheveux, donc en général déjà jaloux!


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